When
I was in high school, I hoped to win “Best Dressed” my senior year. I put my
best foot forward, wearing the cutest outfits I could create and almost never
having an “off day” when it came to my clothes. I was sure I stood a chance. In
my eyes, I was definitely stylish and people always commented on what I wore. When
the “Best Dressed” winner and nominees were announced, I was nowhere in the
running. I was devastated. I remember thinking “is my style not good enough?” “Do
I dress bad?” The experience led to a fashion downward spiral that lasted four
years. From that moment on, I constantly compared my clothes to other girls. I
tried to keep up with the trends. I tried to learn the “cool styles” and wear
heels. With every outfit I tried to create using other people’s style preferences,
I lost a part of myself.
High school Myah, when I was comfortable with my style.
By the time I graduated from college I was painfully
insecure and totally confused about my style. I didn’t feel cute. I didn’t feel
feminine. And most of all, I didn’t feel good enough. In graduate school I ran a
style blog. Style blogging gave me the opportunity to showcase my personal
style, but reading other style blogs caused me to do what I had done so often
in the past: compare myself to other people. Once again I was miserable,
frustrated, and style-less. It took me a while, but I soon realized that what I
had been trying to do all along was gain acceptance through what I wore. In
high school, I really believed that winning best dressed would validate my
importance. I didn’t feel important so I thought having the approval of “the
right people” (popular people) would solidify how important I was. In college,
I wanted to fit in so I followed the model of other people. If the cool,
accepted girls wore pink boot and fur coats then I wanted to wear pink boots
and a fur coat, even if my real style preference was a plaid shirt, jeans, and
Uggs. I always wanted to be chic, but really (as someone recently accurately described)
my style is very creative. I now seek to enjoy my clothes rather than to wear
things other people approve of. Honestly, I’m not trendy. I only know a handful
of brand names. My clothes aren’t chic. My taste isn’t sexy. But none of that
matters because I have learned to wear what makes Myah happy. I feel the most
comfortable in clothes that are sweet, colorful, and sparkly. I’ve learned that
my acceptance and femininity are not defined by trends but rather they are
defined by me.
Myah
Myah now. I have redefined my style and now I feel more like myself.
To see more of Myah's style (or to hear more of her thoughts) head on over to her blog :http://thehappyhealthywholegirl.blogspot.com
Monday, November 5, 2012
Myah's Words: Accepting My Style, Accepting My Femininity.
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